Because Hallmark doesn't make a card for "Get the hell outta my life!"

A Florida man made up a story about killing a hitchhiker in hopes that it would induce his wife to leave him.

Okay, I suppose that's reasonable. In a weird, psycho, passive-aggressive sort of way. But, don't you think you should let the cops in on the gag? At least once they get you down at the station? Then again, if you're thinking about that, you probably wouldn't make up a story about killing a hitchhiker in the first place.